I wish I was dead.
No you don't... In the cosmic scheme of things it's a lot better to feel like a idiot than be like a Schiavo.... The former will pass, the latter is forever....
Just think of it was replacement due to damage. I've had deflectors (some years ago) "take one for the truck" and have to be replaced because of sizeable chunks blown out of them (flying rocks) .
Just don't lean on it next time (which I'm guessing is what happened.....).